Friday, October 5, 2007

The Demon Barber who DOESN'T SING

Have you seen the trailer for Sweeney Todd? You can watch it here on Yahoo. I recommend HD. I shouldn't have to tell you why. Anyway, I'm taking some issue with it. Not the movie, I clearly haven't seen it. No, my issues are with the trailer. I assume that the trailer is completely fucked up because the studio didn't want to scare off potential ticket-buyers with singing and murder. Except that that's the entire point of Sweeney T.
So first of all, throughout the entire trailer there is no singing. There's a smidge of Johnny Depp talk-singing an intro to a song, but no real singing. I don't know if the movie is different (better fucking not be, but we'll get to that), but Sweeney Todd is, I'd say, 86% singing. There's like, NO talking. People refer to it as a Sondheim opera for a reason. Put that shit in the trailer, the people need to know!

Also, the trailer makes it look totally family friendly and like some kind of morality tale. Dude. He goes on a killing rampage and then has his bitch cook the bodies into pies which they then sell to the hungry citizens of London. Then everyone dies. I'm hoping they didn't do something nutz like change the ending so it's a little bit nicer. Remember what happened to the movie version of Little Shop of Horrors? I consider my point proven.

Also: Where the fuck was Toby?! If they were going to present the story as some sort of moral tale, shouldn't they include the moral compass?! Plus, he's probably the best character. They also didn't include Anthony (who I thought was Antony, but IMDb says different), but who gives a shit about him? My other favorite character is the wife, but after she goes crazy and sexually harasses everyone. She was ALSO completely left out. (I have a theory that they're trying to make Sascha Baron Cohen look like the funny character, but it's totally the apeshit wifey.)

On the subject of things left unmentioned: Where the pies be at?! That's totally part of the A storyline. What the fuck, indeed.

On the plus side, I think Alan Rickman as Judge Turpin is some pretty clutch casting.

We'll see what happens on December whateveritis. Ooh! It should come out on Christmas! HA!

. . . I checked. It comes out the 21st. UGH someone in movieville keeps making mistakes. Why do they not check with me? I keep waiting for their calls and still . . . nothing.

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