Friday, November 16, 2007

Baggage Check

I have a habit of going through my other people's wallets/bags/houses. I'm really nosy and I think a person's stuff says more about a person than they ever will. I'd be a really great TSA employee - I'd root through each person's bags until I knew everything about them.

Speaking of reappropriating tyrannical breaches of privacy, I was reading an article the other day in which the author dumped out their bag and took note of everything she was carrying around on that given day. It was actually really interested, and not just because I'm nosy. I decided to try this activity out for myself and see what came of it. Here goes!This is the bag that I carry just about every day. It can hold a magazine/papers without having to fold them, and it's big enough that I can throw my (empty) travel mug in it and still carry it under my shoulder. It's from Anthropologie, and it was a gift from my parents. I had been oogling it for months, and around the holidays it was way, WAY on sale (original price was ... mind blowing) and BAM! It was under the holiday shrubbery. I've been lugging it around ever since.
Now for what I was carrying in my bag this morning:
1. Fingerless mittengloves. They're more like palm-warmers with thumb holes. From Urban Outfitters. Great for getting coffee to go on a bitterly cold day when you don't want to take off your gloves, but need to get money out of your wallet.

2. Clean n' Clear "Greasy Sheets," because on occasion (read: All the time) my face is like an oil slick. Also, it is completely pointless to buy 'designer' blotting papers. These work fabulously and cost $4.

3. L'Oreal Color Juice lipgloss in Raspberry Smash. I rarely use this, except when I think I look a little pallid. It's also here because the love of my life, Lil' Mama, uses L'Oreal Color Juice.

4. Two Sharpie highlighters, one mechanical pencil. I don't like highlighters in day-glo colors, preferring the yellow ones that are actually yellow/gold. For awhile though, I only had the day-glo one, and once I replaced it I didn't take the reject highlighter out of my bag. Still haven't.

5. One quarter. One penny. I normally do not like to carry change as a rule. I also don't usually carry cash.

6. L'Occitane Shea Butter Hand Cream, as mentioned previously.

7. Two articles for a paper I'm writing on TV fans and the interwebs. One is on Trekkies, the other is recounting a study of TV chatrooms. One I have read, the other I have not.

8. My wallet. It's from Claire's or some other mecca of trashiness, which is funny because I get compliments on it all the time. Brown/Black leather wallets are lame. And less gay looking.

9. Knock-off Wayfarers. Because I can't afford Wayfarers. Also from Urban Outfitters.

10. Contact re-wetting drops. I'm "supposed" to change my contacts every month, but I just wear them until my vision gets blurry and my eyeballs itch. This helps extend the life of my disintegrating 'tacts.

11. Treo 755p AKA my lifeforce. Everything is in this pup, from my calendar to my email to the pizza place's phone number. I also don't have a landline, so this is it for me in terms of vocal communication with people in other locations.

12. iPod. 30G video. My third iPod, second video 'pod. Also has fucking rad Superman case, which I refer to as a Super Sarah case. Has semi-broken headphones, but audio-wise they're just fine so whatever.

13. Aquaphor Healing Ointment, used as lipgloss. When your lips take up half of your face, you need to use lip stuff that's actually for like, burn victims. This gets a LOT more play than, say, the L'Oreal shit.

14. Orbit Wintermint gum. I'm not a big gum chewer, but after eating Thai or burritos, a mint is just not going to cut it. I also almost exclusively swallow gum when I'm done with it. Even if I'm next to a trash can. I think it's because I hate seeing people's gum, even my own.

15. Reciept from post office. I'm at the post office a lot, because my main source of income is selling useless crap on eBay for more than it's worth.
Some things I feel like most women carry in their bags that I don't have:

1. Tampons (or whatever). I have an aversion to using a tampon that's been in my bag for an unknown amount of time, so I add them as needed. This tactic has bitten me in the ass many times, as periods are sometimes tricky and then you're stuck in some bathroom digging for a quarter to buy a supersuperplus giant tampon from a machine. Also see #5 above to understand why this is a problem.

2. Advil/Tylenol/Etc. I have endometriosis, which is painful enough that I take vicodin. My pain mantra: If it doesn't hurt enough that you need vicodin, then it doesn't really hurt. I do not take any of these pussy drugs.

3. I also almost always carry my digital camera, but I used it to take the above pictures, so naturally it is not in them. It's a Sony Cybershot, 7.4 megawhatevers. It's pretty sweet for snapshots, etc.

Overall, I highly recommend this activity. Do it to yourself, do it to your friends. You may learn something! Or not! Who really cares? It's Friday!

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