Corpses and Cocktails

I'm completely unable to watch procedural crime TV shows. They don't remotely reflect how crimes and whatnot are dealt with in real life. On Law & Order (or your crime drama of choice), if a woman is raped, she gets all kinds of attention from the police, who eventually catch her attacker and send him to jail for 20 years. I was sexually assaulted, and when I tried to report it I was accused of lying. I was also sent to Celebrity Rehab against my will. So yeah, not so big on the procedural crime genre.

There are one or two exceptions to this rule, one of which is Bones. My mom got into the show when it first started airing and then convinced me to watch around season two (of course I watched season one first, I have to watch my stories from the beginning and in order). And I loved it! I think I've been able to watch almost all the episodes without any emotional trauma or yelling at the TV.

SIDE NOTE: I also read an article by a father of a boy with Asperger's, and he was buying all seasons of Bones on DVD to show his son when he was older. See, Brennan AKA Bones, is clearly on the autism spectrum, but it's never actually addressed on the show, and she's seen as smart and quirky instead of diseased and handicapped. This father said the show was a wonderful portrayal of Asperger's that doesn't make a big show of having that character, while still showing an accurate portrayal of the syndrome. I can't find a link to the actual article, but here's a similar one that talks about many shows with the same effect.

Back to business. I really like Bones. But (of course there's a but. This is me, the Queen of Pet Peeves.) I have one problem with the show that doesn't just bug me, but drive me UP THE FUCKING WALL. That problem is the wardrobe of Dr. Camille "Cam" Saraoyan, the boss of all who work at The Jeffersonian (including our titular heroine), a former coroner, and a forensic pathologist.

Basically, Cam is the boss and frequently works from her desk, signing papers, approving projects, and making sure everyone is doing their job. But she's also a pathologist and frequently gets elbow-deep in corpses. No matter what she's doing, she's never wearing the right clothes. NEVER.

When Cam is in boss mode, she dresses like she's going to a cocktail party: Tight, shiny mini-dresses, stilettos, the whole deal. She often looks out of place and ridiculous.

 Above is a graphic I pulled from an article about how Cam is frequently dressed in Karen Millen, who is well-known for her eveningwear.

Notice how everyone else is in lab coats but Cam? On the left is Angela, who is an ARTIST, and she's even dressed like a scientist. 

And Dr. Saroyan doesn't just dress inappropriately when she's in her "work clothes." On occasion Cam must abandon her sparkly dresses and sky high heels to put on the ol' coveralls and dig into a body. But Cam's coveralls are so tight, they give her what can only be referred to as a CAMel toe.

I don't know how she can walk in that suit, let alone examine a dead body. 

Look, I know this is a TV show, not a documentary. And I'd accept that if it weren't just ONE character that was made to look completely absurd. Every other character on the show is dressed appropriately considering their job and their personality. Everyone but Cam. 

So, dear Fox and Bones showrunners, I suggest you either give Cam a better wardrobe, or change her character to a skank who wears dresses a size too small to work. (TO WORK!)