ProCLASStination. Because I'm a Classy Lady.

If I had a dollar for every time a professor has said, "For next class we'll be reading about Marxist Theory," I'd have enough money to buy a burrito. And not some shitty roadside burrito (actually those are pretty good, but I'm making a point) - a burrito from Chipotle. WITH a drink. And extra guac.

What I'm trying to say is, I feel like Karl Marx is like my next door neighbor, and that's not just because my next door neighbor is actually a German man named Karl. Marxie and I have become pretty close in these past few years of education, and I'm freaking sick of the bastard. Tonight I'm supposed to be reading 30 (!) pages of that bitch and I just want to down some Ambien and dream about how I'm so happy prime time TV is back.

Here's some things I'm doing/thinking about instead of reading:

1. Apparently Hayden PantyHair and Milo Ventimiglia are dating. She's 18. He's 30. She plays his niece on Heroes. I'm in love with him. I'm going to kill one hostage every hour until they STOP.

2. I saw this picture of Paris Hilton on Go Fug Yourself, and I thought, "What a great Phyllis Diller costume! I must get one!"Then I decided to put that joke in this little bit of interweb majesty, and when I went to look for pictures of Phyllis Diller to compare it to, I found THIS:That's not luck, or proof that I'm the most clever person in the world. It's evidence that there is a God. Plus, it has inspired me to post sometime in the future about how much I am in love with Phyllis Diller. Her guest appearance on Scooby Doo is still one of my favorite TV moments of all time.

3. Now I'm thinking about The New Scooby Doo Movies. These were the hour-long episodes where celebrities of the 70s joined the gang on their paranormal adventures. In Mizz Diller's episode, she's being contacted by the ghosts of her dead husbands (there are three), who are worried about someone trying to steal her jewelery. She's totally awesome, even as a cartoon:I wish I could find a full-length picture. I'm amazed that no one has made an entire webpage devoted to this power hour of awesome.

Other reasons why I'd argue SD Movies is a better series than the original? Other guests include: The Harlem Globetrotters (THREE times!), Mama Cass (!), Josie and the Pussycats (yes, the two gangs do have a showdown), and the kids from Speed Buggy (Scoobs and Buggs also have a bit of a showdown). HOW is this series not on DVD?!

4. Okay now I have to check Amazon to see if TNSDM is on DVD.

IT IS!!!

But it's complete bullshit. The 4 disc set includes all three Harlem Globetrotters eps, but not Phyllis Diller, OR Josie and the Pussycats. They also include BOTH episodes with Don Knotts AND both eps with Batman and Robin. Granted, the Batman and Robin episodes are pretty clutch, but not Phyllis or Josie? Those are CLASSICS. Get your shit together DVD-maker people.

5. I'm going to leave you with the opening credits to one of the greatest TV shows ever, as mentioned above. I'm off to read Entertainment Weekly and not Karl Marx. Whoops.