Monday, July 23, 2007

Blast From the Big Bulged Past

I don't really give a shit about Natasha Beddingfield. I couldn't name three of her songs, actually. But I know she looks like a horse. I guess now she's trying to look a little less equine and a little David Bowie. More specifically Bowie in Labyrinth, which by the way was my FAVORITE movie for about a decade. Now the movie has more of a cult following because David B wears, well who knows what he's wearing but he has like the BIGGEST package. We're talking a bulge the size of...aaand we're getting off topic. Anywhoo, here's Natasha at some event or another:

First of all, she looks like she just woke up after a night of hard partying and rubbed her eyes, fluffed her hair, and walked out the door onto some red carpet. Only, I can't believe this because, like I said above, who the fuck is Natasha Beddingfield? And who would invite her to a late-night binge-drink-a-thon? Which means she must have meant to look like this:

The world has had 30 odd years to figure out that what works for David Bowie does not work for any other normal human being. We can only assume Natasha Beddingfield had a fractured childhood in which Labyrinth was not in the VHS rotation, and therefore has not learned that lesson.

No comments: