So lately I have been spending my downtime watching Supernatural on DVD. I know. I know. I'm embarrassed for me too. But seriously, who can hate on me for spending my air conditioned summer PMs watching two desperately hetero brothers road-trip across the "country" (where by "country" the CW clearly means Vancouver) and fight evil spirits and crazy ghost shit? It's just like Priscilla, Queen of the Desert...but with shittier costumes and more longing glances and brooding.
Which brings me to my point. I am, after 10 episodes of my new non-guilty pleasure, gay for Dean. This is where it gets confusing, because one of the gay bros is named Dean, the brother's father is played by walks-with-a-limp-because-he-always-has-one-foot-in-the-grave actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and the other bro ho is portrayed with effortless man-beauty by Jared Padalecki, who got his break as Dean on Gilmore Girls.
My hard-on is for the latter.
I used to watch Gilmore Girls and thought Dean was a total pussy. I mean, look at this kid:
D-Bag alert! He was, sadly, like a lot of high school boyfriends tend to be. Probs gay, def afraid of 1) vaginas 2) fisticuffs 3) all authority figures.
Anyhoo, I kind of thought that Dean was what "Jared" was really like (in my mind he is actually named Dean. Plus, it's a way better name than Jared, which can only be equated with losing weight from eating turkey subs for a year). After all, Alexis Bledel was never really acting on that show either. When it started she fit the character perfectly because she didn't know a boom mike from a makeup trailer, and was therefore awkward and impish. Then she got a few parts in some other shit I'm too lazy to look up on IMDb and she got all cocky and started preening for the cameras. Why should I believe Pussy Dean to be any different?
Oh, how wrong I was. Now look at how our little D (which no longer stands for douche, but, uh, dayum?) has grown into a hot piece of gay-crush man meat:
I would totally get drunk and have sex with him. Fuck, I'd even let him take me out to dinner first! He's like if an Abercrombie model was actually interested in girls and was just modeling so he could donate money to the Skin Cancer Foundation. Or something. Anyway, he's beautiful. It's really too bad his character on Supernatural (referred to as "Sammy" aka "Little Gay") is so hot for his brother, or I'd be daydreaming about having a poltergeist in my shower and calling up Old Dean to have him "exorcise my demons." Whew, I just got a little hot writing that. I may be a gay man after all...