Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The Most Pretentious Lube of All

Whole Foods has a brand of skin/hair/body care products called Collective Wellbeing. It has really nice packaging, but it's also kind of overpriced, so I've never actually used any of it. If I'm going to pay $25 for some lotion I'm going to go to Kiehl's where I get a shitload of free samples for my troubles. Plus, they too have nice packaging. (I'll buy just about anything with pretty packaging or a good marketing scheme. I'm such a chump.)

Today I'm at the store looking for moisturizer to cure my zombie face disorder, and as I'm perusing the Collective Wellbeing section, something strikes me as odd. Apparently they manufacture one, but two types of lube.

This is a company that makes multiple formulas of overpriced natural haircare products. And they sell face masks and lip balm and stuff. Does lube fit in with those products? Not that I have ever seen before. I just don't know if I think this is awesome and liberating or completely idiotic.On the one hand, way to go Collective Wellbeing. Go 'head and make some lube AND some face wash! Who says you have to only dabble in one area? Who says you need to be the Burt's Bees of the wealthy?! Go ahead and make berry flavored lube for the bourgeoisie!

But on the other hand, what the fuck? If there actually is a type of person that insists on buying natural, Whole Foodsian lube, well, no one should be rewarding them with sex. I understand that maybe some people have allergies or whatever, or that was all that was in the store or blah blah blah, but I really doubt that this was the consumer CWB had in mind. They're catering to those wannabe green yuppies with their be-Ugged babies in Bugaboo strollers who aimlessly roam the aisles of Whole Foods for hours. I really don't think these people need to be catered to more, do you?

I just don't know. I just do not know.

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