Uncle Sam Want Your Moneys

Did you hear? The economy is crap! Although, I bought a CAR and a Marc Jacobs bag today, so I'm not really sure this "economic slump" is too real. Although bagels are getting more expensive...

I kid, really I do. But seriously folks, we need to spend money or the terrorists will win! I personally adore amassing material possessions. I just (just as in today) bought a car with some lawsuit money and I'm so in love:Turns out a lot of people are buying cars! The waiting list for Priuses sets back your buy date to at least August. Clearly, Americans are still the consumerist pigs we always were, except now we have a conscious! Well, this is neither here nor there. What I wanted to share with you all is another collection of my materialistic musings. Like I said, I just got off the phone with a delightful (really!) woman at Saks who sold me a Marc Jacobs clutch for 40% off AND free shipping! This recession thing is basically like a coupon for LIFE! Check it:How frakking adorablog.

This is just today, mind you. I am not typically so much a consumer as I am an admirer. I love nice, interesting things. Things you'd look at and say, "Is that art? Or is that your bottle opener?" And I'd respond with a maniacal grin and say, "IT'S BOTH."

This is why I love the MOMA store. I think I may have memorized the entire inventory, as I browse the virtual shelves almost every day. If, say, you ever wanted to get me a present, all you need do is head to momastore.org and choose pretty much anything. I guarantee I will adore it/you forevs.This is one of my latest MOMA obsessions. It's a USB memory stick. In the shape of a squid. Did you know that the giant squid is in my top five favorite animals? TRUE. Plus, for looks like this and a $75 price tag, you know I'd be toting around all kinds of important files. Like a businessman or one of those ladies always featured in Lucky magazine!I'm falling kind of hard for this elephant as well. So first off it's almost day-glo pink, but it's completely to scale and anatomically correct. All the little wrinkles and sage elephantine wisdom seen in this five inch beauty are exactly as they appear on a real elephant somewhere, which is just too meaningful to pass up, really.If I had to choose one item to describe my love for shopping and modern art and small bits of captured genius, this ring would be it. I keep hoping someone will buy it for me, because it's just too precious a thing to buy for myself. That's weird, but that's how I feel. And it would give someone a break from me always asking for baubles from Tiff's.

I don't actually make enough money to get an economic stimulus check, but if I did you know I'd be the first person to put it right back into the economy. I actually think that those checks should have gone to those with the most expendable income and ludicrous shopping habits, like teenagers and 20something gay men. I mean, really, think about it. And then call me and we'll go shopping!