Saturday, July 12, 2008

Horrible Things I've Found on the Interweb

When I'm moderately bored but not enough to get out of bed, I shop online. I also do this when I'm feeling like going shopping but remember that I live in Middle America and the good stuff is 200 miles away. Basically, I am willing to sift though pages upon pages of crap to find something either amazing or terrible or both. Here's a selection of things I've recently lost my shit over.

Leopard Print Hair Extensions - Found through Etsy
I'm kind of wacko over leopard print. I have the makings of an entire leopard print outfit in my closet, although I believe in wearing one piece at a time...usually. I am drawn inexplicably to anything leopard print, but these hair extensions are kind of pushing it. The situation was made even worse when I saw the picture of the model wearing them:
Wanna to look like her?! Actually, I am totes jeal over her tattoo. I'm considering getting a tattoo of leopard print myself. Maybe on my shoulder. Or maybe on my FACE.

Crystal American Flag iPhone Case - Found through eBay
You guys, just look at this for a second. I can't completely believe this exists. I'm thinking of buying it just for all the ridiculous looks I'd get, but pretending to be Republican is only okay for Stephen Colbert. Do you think someone made this by intricately gluing individual crystals on to a piece of laser-cut plastic? While listening to Bill O'Reilly? I do. I also believe that there are actually fifty stars on that little crystal flag. Because otherwise the terrorists would win.

LAMB Checkerboard Leather Jacket - Found through ShopBopI've written before about how I have a hate-hate relationship with Gwen Stefani. Particularly with her clothing line. It's all so amazingly unattractive and gross that I cannot fathom why respectable stores carry it at all. This jacket is particularly vomit inducing. When I saw this, the first thing that popped into my mind was the eponymous Starter Jacket . Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Gwennie's next line was all about taking horrible trends of the early 90s and trying to pass them off as trendy. I swore I'd never wear bike shorts again and no one will make me!Also, that checkerboard monstrosity costs about $1,000. The jacket above, though? Priceless. Hollaback GURL!

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