Friday, August 8, 2008

I Respect Slaves, And Other Things I'm Proud Of

There was an incident this morning. It went like this:

After I was discovered (gasp!) downstairs in boss's house speaking with (gasp!) the housekeeper:
Unnamed Child: Why were you talking to her? You know she's our housekeeper?!
Me (Loudly, so that said housekeeper would hear): Well, we servants need to stick together.
I have been cursing myself all day for not finding out this woman's name, because I'm sure she's seen as Nameless Housekeeper to so many families, possibly many six-year-olds. When she first opened the door to me I actually thought she was the grandmother, helping out while the house was undergoing the remodel. Then I thought she WAS the one doing the remodel, and THAT was why she told me she was "working in the bathroom." I actually didn't know she was there to clean until I accidentally ran into her while she was swiffering. Even then I just thought she was a very thorough craftswoman.

I've done this before, where I assume "better" of people and never think that to be odd. I didn't know that there were people who didn't go to college until I was fourteen. I mean, I thought that people dropped out, but I assumed everyone had gone, at least for a little while. When I told my mom about this she said something like, "So you thought that the person in the Arby's drive-thru had gone to college?" and I was all, "Well at least enrolled!" and she was like, "Oh, Honey, nuh uh. But that's sweet of you!"

I'll probably keep doing this my whole life, and although I do get a little embarrassed when people call me out on being so assumptive, I'm starting to grow more proud of the fact that I never assume the role of Chi-Chi White Bitch. I actually only realized this when I was ranting to my mom (I miss you, you foolish, foolish sucka). I tell the college story with me as the butt of the joke, but I think as I'm seeing different sides of society I'm going to start thinking of that story as one of my proud moments.

Here are some other things that I'm damn proud of, and I think you all should make a list of these too, because it's just good for your soul, man:

1. I threw a fit inside a mental hospital and still managed to walk out a free woman.

2. I dropped out of college and then got said college to (technically) buy me a new car.

3. I have many more days when I think of numbers 1 and 2 as successes instead of failures.

4. I was kicked out of Greenpeace. I was also accused of personally trying to dismantle the organization.

5. I have reached the point where gynecological exams do not phase me in the least. Whine about a pap smear and I'm all, "Bitch, please."

6. I'm not afraid to say/write/do what I please, and continue to be unafraid afterward.

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