Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Craig... He Done and Done It Again

Today Mama T told me a story about a girl who was killed when she answered a Craig's List ad for a babysitter. The Moms was all, "Watch out," and I was like, "Dood. I only use Craig's List for comedic purposes." I acutally did get my bike off the List, and once I wrote a missed connection for someone who had a crush on a Whole Foods Cashier. It was M4M so I made it dripping with gay, and he ended up taking it down, but that's another story for another time, Kids. The point is, I'm in the mood to troll the List! Let's go!

baby cereal and kool aid packets (ludlow)
I have 3 16 ounce boxes of rice cereal and 2 8 ounces barley cereal and 9 packets of kool aid black cherry packets and 2 packets of lemonade free to anyone willing to pick up 
*B and H's mom told me that her parents put Coke in her baby bottles. I think she was joking. I do not think this person is joking.
Southwest Airlines 25th Anniversary Poster (Kenmore)
Originally produced and sold by Paul Geller Enterprises, Inc., of Dallas, Texas (no, I never heard of Mr. Geller either) for a whopping $39.95, this 1996 25th anniversary poster features pictorial moments in the history of Southwest Airlines arranged in the shape of a heart, a symbol of the "LUV" airline. Given that my sentiments regarding Southwest Airlines are quite the opposite and this gift poster is taking up room, it's yours for the taking. It's been covered with plastic since purchase, although the matting has bowed (the poster itself has not). This is a must (a must!) for any frequent Southwest flyer. I'll remove the posting when the poster is gone. 
*Is it just me, or do you get the feeling that this poster belonged to an ex? Either that, or this person just broke up with Southwest Airlines.
Leather for Lace (Henderson)
The River Run is coming soon.............I will trade a set of Black leather womans chaps, size Small and a Black with Pink Flames leather jacket size Med for a White Lace Wedding full skirt dress,
Size 4 to 8. 

*I hove no idea what this is about, but they sure do know how to get my attention! The River Run just makes me want to sing Carly Simon songs.

Heavy Duty Skull Fog machine with detachabe face 25- - $25 (Fort Lewis/ Lakewood/ tacoma)
This is a heavy duty fog machine not like the cheep ones stores
sell .Has a timer and intervene settings . Paid 75.00 for this .
Has 1/4 botte of fluid left . Also this was a limited edd. oneSell for 25-
Price: 25- 

*Sometimes I get so mad reading Craig's List because people have no idea what treasures they have.  AND NO PICTURE?! Fuck that noise.
I can't even deal after that last idiotic post. I didn't think it could be as bad as giving away a copy of Mall Madness, but this comes close. Let's dress our wounds with some missed connections.

Peeking out of the elevator... - m4w - 36 (Under the el on Franklin)
Ok, that's twice now that I've watched you get to work in the morning, walk into your building, wait for the elevator, get in for the ride up, and then just as the doors are closing, there's that moment of eye contact.
I'm that guy who's standing across the street, smoking a last cigarette before going in to work. I think when I've seen you it's because we both got off the same brown line train. 

Just want you to know, you are indeed a hottie, and seeing you brightens my morning, especially that little glance back from the elevator. 
Hopefully you haven't thought I'm some creepy stalker wierdo. Just a normal guy having a smoke. 
And maybe ogling your ass, but in a totally respectful way. Nice boots. 
*As he wrote this he thought, "Missed Connections! How totes gay! I must prove my straightness...'And maybe ogling your ass, but in a totally respectful way. Nice boots.' Yes, that's PERFECT!"
Cute blond longshoreman - m4m - 23 (Port of Tacoma)
Seen you a few times down at the port. You normally are driving truck or in a pickup truck. Today we spoke for a minute, I was the outside trucker asking for help. :) You seem really cool and I am hoping my gaydar is not messed up but you also seemed a little sweet (and ur hair kind of gave it away HAHA)! Well if you see this, I would love to take you out sometime. Take care. 
*Who needs gaydar when only one of the longshoremen has *NSYNC hair?

sorry my phone died mid texting - m4w - 38 (midtown)
hey , damn i hate running out of minutes and right in the middle of making fun of Kathy Lee Gifford too. anyway im not sure i have your exact email address so hit me back here nad ill have it
*I'm desperate to hear his Kathie Lee material.

1 comment:

heartpinksky said...

So I too was just on Craigslist and came across this headline:

Are you struggling and is Mary J. Blige an inspiration to you?