Friday, September 4, 2009

Such Complete Intoxication

Listen team, I've been so sick this past week. I'm not going to go into detail, but I will say that at one point I couldn't take a sip of water without puking. I was convinced I had swine flu, bird flu, and jackalope flu combined... but it was just a simple flu and now I'm mostly back to normal.

While I was bedridden I watched a lot of movies and leafed through magazines and got completely, utterly lonely and bored. At the end of the flu I was a coherent person again (for the most part), but I was still too loopy to say, read a book, or walk Hero. Can I just take a minute to talk about my poor dog? I was so sick that I couldn't get out of bed to take him out to pee, so during the night he'd pee out the side of his crate, onto my bedroom floor. So there's a puddle of pee on the floor and a confused dog that I don't think is completely housebroken but he never pees in the house because I take him out like, every hour out of paranoia. And my sweet, wonderful, mommy would stop by on her way to work to make sure I took my pills and had vitamins and would clean up the pee on the floor and take out the dog so he could have a semblance of a normal doggy existence. Bless her heart.

So, to backtrack, I'm in bed on the brink of death, and my mind is so mixed up with all the TV I've watched and all the disease that's flowing through me and OH the loneliness! What I'm trying to say is, I kind of started talking to myself in my head. Not in a hallucinatory, demented way. I'd just be on my computer, looking at whatever, and my internal monologue was like, "Hmm, I wonder if there's anything new on ShopBop. Oh look! Those shoes are terrible. I wish I could afford that dress. But where would I wear it? Well I'd need to get invited to some party or something a bit fancy. Too bad I'm too old to go to prom..."

A side effect of this mental recitation of thoughts is that I'd also get commercial jingles and songs stuck in my head for DAYS. Actually, it was one commercial jingle and one song. Remember the Salad Shooter? I sure do. Because I've been singing about how it "helps you everyday!" in my head since Sunday. The song? That's better, because it's "High on You" by Survivor.

My method for dealing with song-in-the-head is to just give in. Listen to it in the car, on your headphones, on your stereo. Watch fan videos on YouTube. Just go all out for a few days and you'll get over it. So I did. I got high on you, and by you I mean Survivor. It hasn't gone away yet, so I think it's time to admit that this is just one of my top songs. Welcome to my world.

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